STRESS MANAGEMENT
---------------------------------------
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
Common Sources of Stress
----------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
Identifying common sources of stress is the key to effective stress management, to coping with stress, and to reducing stress.
Acute Sources of Stress
---------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
- Accidents
-------------------------
Accidents are common sources of stress... anyone who has been in a minor car accident can attest to this. Our bodies experience a stress reaction... our heart rate goes up and we feel the adrenaline surging through us.
There are a wide range of accidents... situations where they can occur, levels of severity, people who can be involved. These sources of stress have one thing in common: they evoke an acute stress response.
- Sudden illnesses
---------------------------------
Diagnoses of serious illness are always acute sources of stress. Fears of death and dying, financial pressure involved with medical care, worry about loved ones, pain and the fear of pain are all contributors to the acute stress of sudden illness.
- Job losses
-----------------------
Sudden or unexpected job loss, or even the threat of a possible job loss, has brought acute stress to many people.
Besides the obvious loss of steady income, job loss brings up a whole set of stressors involved with finding a new job, lifestyle changes, altering comfortable routines, finding ones way in a new organizational culture... and on, and on.
- Economic Crisis
---------------------------------
Sometimes economic crisis is a direct contributor to job loss, but it is one of the acute sources of stress for a variety of reasons. A comfortably retired couple may find their life savings threatened because of falling investment value... A small business owner may see a huge drop in sales as consumers reduce their spending.
Economic issues may be a chronic stressor for many, but when the issues reach crisis level, the impact is often acute and far-reaching.
- Relationship Crisis
---------------------------------
Marriage is often the first thing that comes to mind with acute relationship-sources of stress. Around half of marriages fail at some point... commonly, one party in the relationship is very surprised and hurt.
Crisis is possible in any relationship where one or both parties have made a significant contribution of time, money and emotional energy.
Chronic Sources of Stress
-------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
- Economic burdens
---------------------------------
As mentioned above, constant economic pressures are a significant source of stress for many people.
Poverty, or the threat of poverty are high on the list, but we also experience stress when our lifestyle is threatened. Also, if our income cannot support our lifestyle, we come under additional pressures from creditors.
- Family conflicts
-------------------------------
Family conflicts are often chronic stressors because family members are stuck with one another! When conflict goes unresolved in the family setting, when little irritations fester, when tempers are always simmering just below the boiling point, the chronic stress can take a real toll on relationships and health.
- Toxic relationships
------------------------------------
Many of my readers, clients and friends can relate to this one! Toxic relationships are the ones that drain you. Never mind who it is. Never mind how they drain you.
If you give and give to the relationship getting nothing in return, it could be a toxic one. If you regularly get battered emotionally, intellectually or physically, you may be in a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships often have strong social or familial ties, and cause significant long-term stress.
- Chronic illness
---------------------------
Just as the unexpected, rapid-onset of acute illness causes acute stress, chronic illness is a major chronic stressor. Chronic illness is a drain on emotional energy, a strain on close relationships, disruptive to lifestyles and often psychologically damaging.
Sources of Stress at Work
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------
- High Demands
---------------------------
Demands are shifting in the working world. Rather than long experience with one company, business leaders are looking for innovation and flexibility. This is extremely stressful to many older professionals and working people, who feel that their seniority is no longer valued or appreciated.
Young people entering the workforce also get pressure to perform, prove themselves and demonstrate their worth. While coaching can turn this stress into positive energy, it is overwhelming for many individuals who feel unsupported.
- Ethical Dilemmas
---------------------------------
For a morally upstanding person who values his or her job, pressure to make unethical business decisions or transactions can be very stressful.
Even if a person has willingly acted unethically in the past, the continued stress of covering ones tracks and betraying ones conscience can build over time. Just working in a morally bankrupt environment can cause significant stress.
- Uncertain Employment
------------------------------------------
Of course, there is always some stress when our job or business is threatened. Whether this is a corporate memo warning of impending layoffs, or a string of customers backing out of their sales agreements, the implications reach into every area of our lives.
Some entrepreneurs enjoy life on the edge, and feed off of the stress caused by competition and uncertainty. For most of us, an unstable employment position is one of the major sources of stress.
- Role Ambiguities
---------------------------------
Role ambiguity results when we do not know what the boss really expects of us. If our job description and evaluation criterion are unclear, it can make going to work very stressful.
As emphasis on flexibility, innovation and teamwork increases, people who are used to the very structured working environment of traditional organizations are under increasing pressure. Moody supervisors, corporate takeovers and a host of other factors make role ambiguity one of the increasingly common sources of stress in the workplace.
- Career Pace
---------------------------
Whether it is too fast or too slow, the pace of our career can be a significant stressor. When responsibilities and decisions pile up on us faster than we can cope, it can feel like the career train is careening out of control.
When we are sitting stagnant in a dead-end job that is not making use of our skills, strengths or challenging us enough, we can feel like the career train is broken down and going nowhere fast. In either case, we can feel overwhelmed by the present situation and unable to see our way to a solution.
- Physical Working Environment
----------------------------------------------------
Renovation/construction, lighting conditions, building design, noise, the outdoor elements, constant danger, hazardous materials and other physical contributors can add stress to the working person. Even hostile co-workers, abusive bosses, or depressing rows of drab cubicles can add to the stress.
There are many legal protections for the working person these days, but little below-the-radar annoyances can add up if our coping mechanisms are rusty or absent.
- Toxic Relationships
----------------------------------------
We touched on this in Chronic stress, but toxic relationships in the working world are so common that it is worth mentioning again. Some people just rub one another the wrong way or cannot see their way through a difference of opinions.
While a skilled conflict resolution coach could help significantly, we often feel trapped in the toxic relationship because our job demands that we work directly with or close to the problem-person
Sources of Stress at Home
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------
- Parental Duties
------------------------------
Parenting is one of the most important tasks we will have as humans... the young, impressionable years are formative and vital to adult success. Children are God's precious gift, right? Some parents reading this will nod in misty-eyed agreement, but I can imagine many more that are rolling their eyes and chuckling!
Being such an important activity, parenting comes with a proportionate amount of stress. Inconsistent discipline, social pressures on children and the many irritations that crop up when living in close quarters with one another contribute as sources of stress.
- Financial Conflicts
----------------------------------
Money issues are one of the main causes of marital strife. Business deals with relatives, small business operations, school costs and lifestyle expectations all fuel the fire.
- Spousal Relationships
---------------------------------------
With such a strong emotional and physical bond, relationships with spouses are ripe for stress. Unmet expectations, unfilled needs, communication deficiencies, personality conflicts and many other things can make this very important relationship miserable and stressful for both parties.
- Physical Setting
----------------------------
Home improvement or construction projects, cramped or poor living conditions or noisy traffic outside are sources of stress in the physical home setting. Also, a complete absence of guests can make a home feel empty and cold, while a huge excess of visitors can make the home environment un-restful.
- Social/Family Pressure
--------------------------------------
Think of the classic "my mother is coming to live with us" scenario! While many cultures handle this well, some families may be ill-equipped to handle the extra relationship dynamic.
In the same vein, pressure to look or live a certain way from very traditional family members or stuck-up acquaintances can also add stress to the home.
Sources of Stress at School
-----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
- Social Pressure
-----------------------------
Participating in extracurricular activities, clubs, the party life, etc. can all put a strain on time and emotional energy. Dating and relationship activities also require energy and contribute stress to school environments.
Pressure to participate in the activities above may create stress for the student who is just trying to survive in a new, hostile social environment. Going from a respected high-school star to a nobody in a large university setting can be stressful... Trying to find one's way socially after a miserable home life or high-school experience can also be quite daunting.
- Family Pressure
------------------------------
Family pressure to make certain grades, participate in certain social organizations and contribute emotionally or physically at home can add stress in many situations.
There are also two very opposite but significant types of family-related school stress... pro-school and anti-school. Some families view educated people with distrust, while others place high educational expectations on family members who might do better in the trades or arts.
- Academic Pressure
-------------------------------------
Even though schools seem to exist to create a certain level of academic pressure (how else would some people be motivated to learn!?) it is one of the common sources of stress.
By taking on too many classes or studying material outside of ones ability level, the natural, positive eustress (or useful-stress) of obtaining an education is easily overdone and damaging.
Reasonable self-expectations and good time management skills are important to coping with academic sources stress.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
N.B:
--------
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
* Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
* Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
* Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
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Learning healthier ways to manage stress
--------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------
If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s
Change the situation:
* Avoid the stressor.
* Alter the stressor.
Change your reaction:
* Adapt to the stressor.
* Accept the stressor.
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N.B:
===
Stress is a common word nowadays. Its inability to respond suitably in a certain situation that involves physical or emotional pressure. Stress affects almost all people of all ages from adults, teens to children.
For you to enable to manage stress then you have to learn how to identify the source of stress in your life. It is not easy to find it for there are sources that are not obvious but you can start by making a stress journal.
Look closely at how you respond to situation. Evaluate your behavior, habits and excuses. When you get to analyze the source of your stress then you now can control your stress level.
You can now find better ways to cope with your stress when you know your source of stress. Below are some healthy ways to cope with stress.
* Avoid unnecessary worries Avoid people or events that stress you out. If a relationship with someone is giving you too much stress then try to see less of that person or much better end it all up entirely. Learn to know your limits. Don't accept responsibilities or tasks that are more than you can take. Learn to say no and stick to it whether at work or at home. Taking in more than you can handle will put pressure on you.
* Change the Situation If you can't stay away with stressful situation then try to change it. Think on how you can change the situation so that it won't pose any threat in the future. Face the problem head on. Be expressive, if you need to talk to the person concern then do it in a nice way. Talking the problem out helps solve the problem. Manage your time wisely. Poor management result to a lot of stress on your part. When you are in control with your time then all will be in order.
* Adapt to the stressor If you can't change the situation then go with the flow. Changing the way you face problems will regain you some control. Looking at a problem not as a threat but an opportunity, Look at it positively and the result is positive too. That way you get control of yourself and your situation.
* Accept that there are things that you can't change There are stressful situations that are unavoidable like death of a loved one, illness or even this economic recession that is happening globally. These things you have no control with so instead of wallowing over on this, it is better if you focus your energy on things like how you choose to react on situations that you have control with. Learn to accept that there are things that are beyond your control. When facing trials, you treat it positively. Look at them as opportunities for personal growth instead of rumbling about it.
* Set aside time for fun. Don't get to busy that you forget to have time for yourself and your family. Always include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Do things that you enjoy most and most of all keep your sense of humor. Laughter is always the best medicine.
* Take on a healthy lifestyle Avoid everything that isn't good to your health like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. Adopt a healthy lifestyle by eating a balance healthy diet, exercise regularly and a regular eight hour sleep.
* Renew yourself spiritually A healthy diet feeds your physical body while a heavenly food feeds your soul. A peace from the inside is the most effective shield of all kinds of diseases and that includes stress.
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Stress management strategy
---------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
1: Avoid unnecessary stress
Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.
* Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
* Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
* Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
* Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
* Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
2: Alter the situation
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
* Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
* Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
* Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
* Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.
3: Adapt to the stressor
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
* Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
* Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
* Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
* Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
4: Accept the things you can’t change
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
* Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
* Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
* Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
* Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
5: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.
Healthy ways to relax and recharge
* Go for a walk.
* Spend time in nature.
* Call a good friend.
* Sweat out tension with a good workout.
* Write in your journal.
* Take a long bath.
* Light scented candles
* Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
* Play with a pet.
* Work in your garden.
* Get a massage.
* Curl up with a good book.
* Listen to music.
* Watch a comedy
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
* Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
* Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
* Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
* Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.
* Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
* Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
* Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
* Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
* Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
---------------------------------------
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
Common Sources of Stress
----------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
Identifying common sources of stress is the key to effective stress management, to coping with stress, and to reducing stress.
Acute Sources of Stress
---------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
- Accidents
-------------------------
Accidents are common sources of stress... anyone who has been in a minor car accident can attest to this. Our bodies experience a stress reaction... our heart rate goes up and we feel the adrenaline surging through us.
There are a wide range of accidents... situations where they can occur, levels of severity, people who can be involved. These sources of stress have one thing in common: they evoke an acute stress response.
- Sudden illnesses
---------------------------------
Diagnoses of serious illness are always acute sources of stress. Fears of death and dying, financial pressure involved with medical care, worry about loved ones, pain and the fear of pain are all contributors to the acute stress of sudden illness.
- Job losses
-----------------------
Sudden or unexpected job loss, or even the threat of a possible job loss, has brought acute stress to many people.
Besides the obvious loss of steady income, job loss brings up a whole set of stressors involved with finding a new job, lifestyle changes, altering comfortable routines, finding ones way in a new organizational culture... and on, and on.
- Economic Crisis
---------------------------------
Sometimes economic crisis is a direct contributor to job loss, but it is one of the acute sources of stress for a variety of reasons. A comfortably retired couple may find their life savings threatened because of falling investment value... A small business owner may see a huge drop in sales as consumers reduce their spending.
Economic issues may be a chronic stressor for many, but when the issues reach crisis level, the impact is often acute and far-reaching.
- Relationship Crisis
---------------------------------
Marriage is often the first thing that comes to mind with acute relationship-sources of stress. Around half of marriages fail at some point... commonly, one party in the relationship is very surprised and hurt.
Crisis is possible in any relationship where one or both parties have made a significant contribution of time, money and emotional energy.
Chronic Sources of Stress
-------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
- Economic burdens
---------------------------------
As mentioned above, constant economic pressures are a significant source of stress for many people.
Poverty, or the threat of poverty are high on the list, but we also experience stress when our lifestyle is threatened. Also, if our income cannot support our lifestyle, we come under additional pressures from creditors.
- Family conflicts
-------------------------------
Family conflicts are often chronic stressors because family members are stuck with one another! When conflict goes unresolved in the family setting, when little irritations fester, when tempers are always simmering just below the boiling point, the chronic stress can take a real toll on relationships and health.
- Toxic relationships
------------------------------------
Many of my readers, clients and friends can relate to this one! Toxic relationships are the ones that drain you. Never mind who it is. Never mind how they drain you.
If you give and give to the relationship getting nothing in return, it could be a toxic one. If you regularly get battered emotionally, intellectually or physically, you may be in a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships often have strong social or familial ties, and cause significant long-term stress.
- Chronic illness
---------------------------
Just as the unexpected, rapid-onset of acute illness causes acute stress, chronic illness is a major chronic stressor. Chronic illness is a drain on emotional energy, a strain on close relationships, disruptive to lifestyles and often psychologically damaging.
Sources of Stress at Work
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------
- High Demands
---------------------------
Demands are shifting in the working world. Rather than long experience with one company, business leaders are looking for innovation and flexibility. This is extremely stressful to many older professionals and working people, who feel that their seniority is no longer valued or appreciated.
Young people entering the workforce also get pressure to perform, prove themselves and demonstrate their worth. While coaching can turn this stress into positive energy, it is overwhelming for many individuals who feel unsupported.
- Ethical Dilemmas
---------------------------------
For a morally upstanding person who values his or her job, pressure to make unethical business decisions or transactions can be very stressful.
Even if a person has willingly acted unethically in the past, the continued stress of covering ones tracks and betraying ones conscience can build over time. Just working in a morally bankrupt environment can cause significant stress.
- Uncertain Employment
------------------------------------------
Of course, there is always some stress when our job or business is threatened. Whether this is a corporate memo warning of impending layoffs, or a string of customers backing out of their sales agreements, the implications reach into every area of our lives.
Some entrepreneurs enjoy life on the edge, and feed off of the stress caused by competition and uncertainty. For most of us, an unstable employment position is one of the major sources of stress.
- Role Ambiguities
---------------------------------
Role ambiguity results when we do not know what the boss really expects of us. If our job description and evaluation criterion are unclear, it can make going to work very stressful.
As emphasis on flexibility, innovation and teamwork increases, people who are used to the very structured working environment of traditional organizations are under increasing pressure. Moody supervisors, corporate takeovers and a host of other factors make role ambiguity one of the increasingly common sources of stress in the workplace.
- Career Pace
---------------------------
Whether it is too fast or too slow, the pace of our career can be a significant stressor. When responsibilities and decisions pile up on us faster than we can cope, it can feel like the career train is careening out of control.
When we are sitting stagnant in a dead-end job that is not making use of our skills, strengths or challenging us enough, we can feel like the career train is broken down and going nowhere fast. In either case, we can feel overwhelmed by the present situation and unable to see our way to a solution.
- Physical Working Environment
----------------------------------------------------
Renovation/construction, lighting conditions, building design, noise, the outdoor elements, constant danger, hazardous materials and other physical contributors can add stress to the working person. Even hostile co-workers, abusive bosses, or depressing rows of drab cubicles can add to the stress.
There are many legal protections for the working person these days, but little below-the-radar annoyances can add up if our coping mechanisms are rusty or absent.
- Toxic Relationships
----------------------------------------
We touched on this in Chronic stress, but toxic relationships in the working world are so common that it is worth mentioning again. Some people just rub one another the wrong way or cannot see their way through a difference of opinions.
While a skilled conflict resolution coach could help significantly, we often feel trapped in the toxic relationship because our job demands that we work directly with or close to the problem-person
Sources of Stress at Home
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------
- Parental Duties
------------------------------
Parenting is one of the most important tasks we will have as humans... the young, impressionable years are formative and vital to adult success. Children are God's precious gift, right? Some parents reading this will nod in misty-eyed agreement, but I can imagine many more that are rolling their eyes and chuckling!
Being such an important activity, parenting comes with a proportionate amount of stress. Inconsistent discipline, social pressures on children and the many irritations that crop up when living in close quarters with one another contribute as sources of stress.
- Financial Conflicts
----------------------------------
Money issues are one of the main causes of marital strife. Business deals with relatives, small business operations, school costs and lifestyle expectations all fuel the fire.
- Spousal Relationships
---------------------------------------
With such a strong emotional and physical bond, relationships with spouses are ripe for stress. Unmet expectations, unfilled needs, communication deficiencies, personality conflicts and many other things can make this very important relationship miserable and stressful for both parties.
- Physical Setting
----------------------------
Home improvement or construction projects, cramped or poor living conditions or noisy traffic outside are sources of stress in the physical home setting. Also, a complete absence of guests can make a home feel empty and cold, while a huge excess of visitors can make the home environment un-restful.
- Social/Family Pressure
--------------------------------------
Think of the classic "my mother is coming to live with us" scenario! While many cultures handle this well, some families may be ill-equipped to handle the extra relationship dynamic.
In the same vein, pressure to look or live a certain way from very traditional family members or stuck-up acquaintances can also add stress to the home.
Sources of Stress at School
-----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
- Social Pressure
-----------------------------
Participating in extracurricular activities, clubs, the party life, etc. can all put a strain on time and emotional energy. Dating and relationship activities also require energy and contribute stress to school environments.
Pressure to participate in the activities above may create stress for the student who is just trying to survive in a new, hostile social environment. Going from a respected high-school star to a nobody in a large university setting can be stressful... Trying to find one's way socially after a miserable home life or high-school experience can also be quite daunting.
- Family Pressure
------------------------------
Family pressure to make certain grades, participate in certain social organizations and contribute emotionally or physically at home can add stress in many situations.
There are also two very opposite but significant types of family-related school stress... pro-school and anti-school. Some families view educated people with distrust, while others place high educational expectations on family members who might do better in the trades or arts.
- Academic Pressure
-------------------------------------
Even though schools seem to exist to create a certain level of academic pressure (how else would some people be motivated to learn!?) it is one of the common sources of stress.
By taking on too many classes or studying material outside of ones ability level, the natural, positive eustress (or useful-stress) of obtaining an education is easily overdone and damaging.
Reasonable self-expectations and good time management skills are important to coping with academic sources stress.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
N.B:
--------
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
* Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
* Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
* Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
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If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s
Change the situation:
* Avoid the stressor.
* Alter the stressor.
Change your reaction:
* Adapt to the stressor.
* Accept the stressor.
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Stress is a common word nowadays. Its inability to respond suitably in a certain situation that involves physical or emotional pressure. Stress affects almost all people of all ages from adults, teens to children.
For you to enable to manage stress then you have to learn how to identify the source of stress in your life. It is not easy to find it for there are sources that are not obvious but you can start by making a stress journal.
Look closely at how you respond to situation. Evaluate your behavior, habits and excuses. When you get to analyze the source of your stress then you now can control your stress level.
You can now find better ways to cope with your stress when you know your source of stress. Below are some healthy ways to cope with stress.
* Avoid unnecessary worries Avoid people or events that stress you out. If a relationship with someone is giving you too much stress then try to see less of that person or much better end it all up entirely. Learn to know your limits. Don't accept responsibilities or tasks that are more than you can take. Learn to say no and stick to it whether at work or at home. Taking in more than you can handle will put pressure on you.
* Change the Situation If you can't stay away with stressful situation then try to change it. Think on how you can change the situation so that it won't pose any threat in the future. Face the problem head on. Be expressive, if you need to talk to the person concern then do it in a nice way. Talking the problem out helps solve the problem. Manage your time wisely. Poor management result to a lot of stress on your part. When you are in control with your time then all will be in order.
* Adapt to the stressor If you can't change the situation then go with the flow. Changing the way you face problems will regain you some control. Looking at a problem not as a threat but an opportunity, Look at it positively and the result is positive too. That way you get control of yourself and your situation.
* Accept that there are things that you can't change There are stressful situations that are unavoidable like death of a loved one, illness or even this economic recession that is happening globally. These things you have no control with so instead of wallowing over on this, it is better if you focus your energy on things like how you choose to react on situations that you have control with. Learn to accept that there are things that are beyond your control. When facing trials, you treat it positively. Look at them as opportunities for personal growth instead of rumbling about it.
* Set aside time for fun. Don't get to busy that you forget to have time for yourself and your family. Always include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Do things that you enjoy most and most of all keep your sense of humor. Laughter is always the best medicine.
* Take on a healthy lifestyle Avoid everything that isn't good to your health like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. Adopt a healthy lifestyle by eating a balance healthy diet, exercise regularly and a regular eight hour sleep.
* Renew yourself spiritually A healthy diet feeds your physical body while a heavenly food feeds your soul. A peace from the inside is the most effective shield of all kinds of diseases and that includes stress.
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Stress management strategy
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1: Avoid unnecessary stress
Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.
* Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
* Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
* Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
* Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
* Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
2: Alter the situation
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
* Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
* Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
* Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
* Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.
3: Adapt to the stressor
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
* Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
* Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
* Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
* Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
4: Accept the things you can’t change
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
* Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
* Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
* Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
* Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
5: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.
Healthy ways to relax and recharge
* Go for a walk.
* Spend time in nature.
* Call a good friend.
* Sweat out tension with a good workout.
* Write in your journal.
* Take a long bath.
* Light scented candles
* Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
* Play with a pet.
* Work in your garden.
* Get a massage.
* Curl up with a good book.
* Listen to music.
* Watch a comedy
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
* Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
* Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
* Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
* Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.
* Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
* Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
* Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
* Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
* Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
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